Nathan* came to me at the end of a week’s sick leave and during our Clarity Call, I could hear he was exhausted, overwhelmed and quietly terrified about returning to work. On the surface, he said he had simply hit a rough patch and was pretending he was fine. But he later admitted he was barely holding it together.
“Emma… I feel like I’m losing it. I can’t go back,” he told me.
A highly-experienced senior leader at an international law firm, Nathan was well-respected, capable and recognised as a high-performer. Someone who had built an impressive career and the kind of leader others rely on the get the job done.
Before taking sick leave, he described how he had a lot on his plate – both at work and at home – which had created a “perfect storm of challenges” he had been trying to juggle. At work he had pushed through, putting in long hours to keep on top of the workload. At home, any downtime he might have had was taken up with caring responsibilities. He knew he was running on empty and secretly wondered how much longer he could keep going.
His high standards had started to slip: he was struggling to focus, making silly mistakes and increasingly irritable. His team and colleagues had started to notice. He couldn’t understand why the job he once excelled at now felt impossible and he thought he might have to resign.
This wasn’t just low resilience or a temporary drop in performance, it was chronic depletion.
Like many senior leaders I work with, Nathan believed a week away from the business would give him space to breathe and “sort himself out”. The distance would give him a break from the stress, relieve the overwhelm and give him clarity. But seven days later, instead of feeling restored, the exhaustion hadn’t really lifted and nothing had changed.
I explained that he wasn’t “losing it”, he wasn’t weak and he wasn’t a failure. And none of this was his fault.
Chronic stress and exhaustion had been escalating for years, and over time, this had depleted his energy, eroded his resilience and degraded his performance. I explained that time out of the business might feel like a reset, but it doesn’t rebuild what chronic stress and overwhelm has drained or address the reasons why he needed to take medical leave. For the first time, he understood what had pushed him to breaking point and I assured him this current situation is reversible.
The relief was palpable. He felt a spark of hope, a sense of possibility and a willingness to make the changes that mattered.
Empowered by our conversation, Nathan visited the doctor to request a month’s medical leave. We worked together to focus on what he actually needed to replenish his energy and rebuild the foundations of resilience:
- Physical resilience — increased the quality of his sleep, focused on healthy nutrition, incorporated gentle movement (not punishing exercise) into his day, and established a truly nourishing rest practice without guilt.
- Mental resilience — explored the internal beliefs that driven him to move at speed, not let anyone down, never say no or ask for help, that had ultimately pushed him beyond his limits.
Rebuilding the leadership capacity Nathan’s role required took intention, not just absence. Daily focus on what his mind and body needed to recover started to lift the exhaustion and soon, Nathan felt ready to return to work.
Our coaching explored the other foundations of resilience:
- Emotional resilience — understanding the nervous system and stress response and he learned evidence-based tools he could use to manage his stress levels during the working day. We also adjusted his relationship to his smartphone to give him some peace.
- Social resilience – explored his challenging relationships and how to navigate them.
Towards the end of our coaching relationship, we focused on:
- Purposeful resilience – how he could focus on his ‘Zone of Genius’ to get more meaning, purpose, satisfaction and fulfilment from work.
- Return-to-work plan — discussed his phased return, he learned how to ask for what he needs, prepared for potentially difficult conversations and we created a simple return-to-work plan to prevent relapse.
Nathan returned to the career he had worked so hard to build with renewed energy, improved resilience and a deep understanding of what he needed to resource himself in order to perform at the level his role demands. But it didn’t stop there, with greater self-awareness, confidence in his strengths and ability to thrive, he became a more effective, empathetic leader, supporting his team to take care of their own resilience and wellbeing. His team, his colleagues – and his family – all noticed the positive change.
I continued to provide ongoing support and accountability for the next two months as Nathan transitioned from medical leave, to phased return to working full time again. There were some bumps in the road but knowing he wasn’t alone made all the difference. Here’s what he had to say:
“When I first met Emma, I was overwhelmed and exhausted and I wasn’t sure I could continue in my role. Working with Emma gave me clarity about my values, my self‑worth, and what I need to function in a demanding environment. I’m back at work and looking positively to the future — something that felt unimaginable at the start. I’m a more confident leader, with more energy and self‑awareness. I finally feel like myself again.”
If this resonates with you, or you can see this pattern in a team member or loved one, I’d love to continue the conversation. Please click the button below to schedule a free, no-obligation Clarity Call to discuss how coaching could support you.
My client’s name has been changed to protect his confidentiality. Nathan* is happy for me to share his story but does not want his name or the name of his employer to be shared.
Emma Hackett 