New Year’s resolutions and I have an understanding: I don’t make them, and they don’t pretend to work. Goals are great, of course — intentional change is powerful — but resolutions born from pressure, guilt or the vague sense that everyone else is doing it so you probably should too… those rarely survive past the first fortnight. Once the initial burst of willpower fizzles, there’s nothing left to sustain them.
A far better approach is setting goals – at any time of year – that come from genuine desire. In coaching terms, a goal that aligns with your mind, heart and gut and elicits a Whole Body Yes*.
What is a Whole Body Yes?
Your body has three centres of intelligence:
- the mind (thoughts),
- the heart (emotions),
- the gut (intuition — that quiet inner voice that often knows before you do).
Most of us are highly practised at listening to the mind and letting it run the show, over-ruling the wisdom of the body. But when the mind is thinking, comparing and analysing, the body already knows the truth. That’s why it’s so important to check in with all three centres of intelligence to get the full picture.
How do you recognise it?
Before you can use your Whole Body Yes, you need to know what Yes, Big No, and Little No feel like. Try this simple exercise:
1. Settle in
Find a quiet spot where you won’t be disturbed. Sit comfortably, feet on the floor, hands relaxed. Take a few slow, deep breaths. Close your eyes if that feels comfortable and tune into your body.
2. Recall a moment you’d happily relive
Think of a time when life felt good and a specific moment you would live again if you had the opportunity. Notice the sensations and emotions that arise. Perhaps there was an uprising of energy or you felt open, excited or peaceful. This is your Yes.
3. Now visit a moment you never want to repeat
Notice what happens in your body. Maybe you feel tight, constricted, anxious of have a sense of ‘backing away’. This is your Big No.
4. Finally, remember something you agreed to out of obligation
Not a disaster, but not something you wanted. The sensations may be subtle so stay present with your body and listen to your heart carefully: you might feel tension, irritation, conflict, boredom, a slight internal flinch. This is your Little No.
5. Make notes
Capture what you noticed — the emotions, the physical cues, the differences between your mind and body and how your Yes, Big No and Little No feel for you.
Using your Whole Body Yes
Try applying this to a New Year’s resolution you’ve made, or any decision you’re facing. Check in with your head, heart and gut and look for a Yes, Big No or Little No. If you get anything other than a Whole Body Yes, the answer is a No — or at least a “Not right now.”
Start small: what time to go to bed, what to order from a menu, whether you actually want to go to that thing you said you’d “see how you feel.” As you build confidence, use it for bigger decisions.
The aim is to only say yes where there is a Whole Body Yes, but of course, some things simply must be done (hello, self‑assessment tax return!). But even then, noticing your internal No can help you make a conscious Yes and approach the task with more compassion and less resistance.
An invitation
- Notice what a Whole Body Yes and No feel like for you
- Create more opportunities to honour your Yes and No
- Become aware of the cost of saying Yes when you mean No
It may feel unfamiliar at first, but the benefits are real. People who honour their Whole Body Yes experience more energy, better mental and emotional wellbeing, and far less obligation and resentment. They build stronger, more honest and authentic connections — with others and with themselves.
If you’d like one-to-one coaching support to find your Whole Body Yes and experience the energy, resilience and peace that brings, please click the button below to get in touch.
- Whole Body Yes is a concept created by Katie Hendricks at The Foundation for Conscious Living.
Emma Hackett 